People try to be nice when they first meet you. They are worried about giving a good impression, and because we do not perceive that they are nervous we misunderstand how they act when they try to be our friend. I remember a woman named Sara who started her first day in the office where I worked years ago, and I thought she was very annoying. She was someone who talked all the time and made jokes that I did not find funny. I thought she just wanted to attract attention and would probably be someone problematic for me.
After a few months of training, my boss told me that Sara was going to be working with me on my team. This was not good news for me. However, I knew that it was not an option, but an order I had to comply with. I thought that if I was going to work with her, it would be best to get along with the person I was going to share eight hours of the day with. After the first week I noticed that she was always the first one to arrive at the office in the morning and usually one of the last one’s to leave at night. I remember that my impression of her started to change the day I had to hand in a report to my boss outlining the complaints that the customer service department had received that month, and I could not find the report on my computer drive! I remember she came over to me and told me to take a deep breath and relax. She helped me find it in a hidden folder where I had saved it accidentally.
About a month or so more went by and she continued to surprise me. Not only did she bring us coffee and bagels one morning, but she was very efficient at her job and responsible. The day that completely changed my impression of Sara was a about a week before Christmas when another coworker of ours, Eliana, had been robbed on her way home and she came in the next day crying because she needed the money to make the rent that month. Sara, then, decided to take up a collection amongst the other coworkers and handed it to her a few days later. When Eliana received it she was surprised and touched, especially because it was more money than what she had lost. From that moment on I saw Sara in a new light.
This experience made me think that one cannot judge someone without knowing the reasons behind the way he or she acts. I now know that Sara acted strangely the first few days I met her because she was nervous about keeping her job and about getting along with her coworkers. If I had not been forced to work with her perhaps I would have never gotten to know who Sara really was. It is interesting to look back and realize how our prejudices or lack of communication can lead us to make wrong conclusions about people. Until today Sara and I are close friends.
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